Today is my birthday and I’ve been thinking a lot about life lessons. I’ve learned…..
That there is nothing like becoming number two in your own life. God willing, maybe one day I will also know what it’s like to be number three or four
That every time I’ve hurt someone, whether deliberately or unintentional, it has always been in the pursuit of my own interests and goals. Looking back I wonder if any of the things I was chasing was really worth someone else’s pain.
That love, real love, is spent while expecting nothing else in return. This is a hard lesson to swallow and it is only at this advanced age that it has finally sunk in.
That I don’t need to always be the funniest guy in the room. Sure, more often than not it turns out that I am J. But all the same I no longer need to be the source of humor and in fact it’s refreshing when others step up to the plate
That it doesn’t matter how people receive what you do or say, that all that truly is important is the condition of your heart when you put it out there.
That there is no greater joy than those moments with an old friend, someone you haven’t talked to years but soon discover that the moment you reconnect it is as if no time as elapsed at all. In this regards thanks for your phone call tonight Nell and Michelle.
That a big part of figuring out who you are is through the process of elimination. Once you get rid of everything you’re not, what’s left over is a pretty good place to start. Therefore I am giving up on the fantasy of ever becoming a “car guy” or a handyman.
That apparently there is nothing attractive about a man who rolls his eyes. Even though I’ve learned this lesson I am not totally sure I can stop myself.
That depression is always general; Life sucks. Things will never get better. By contrast happiness is always found in the details.
That women may claim that they want the bad guy, or the sensitive guy, or the manly man, or the supportive guy, but in the end all women want is someone who makes them feel special. If I had to guess guys probably want that too.
That pillow fights, cartoons, coloring books and knock-knock jokes are still fun. A five year old boy taught me that, and now I wonder why I gave them up in the first place.
That there is nothing like family. Sure, after a visit extends past a couple of days a part of me is ready for them to leave. But all the same, I’ve learned when you’re down and out that they are first ones to answer the call.
That there is nothing wrong in spending time on yourself. As a single parent such selfish luxuries can be ridden off with guilt, but in the end your own emotional happiness has to matter.
That the main difference between someone of faith and a nonbeliever comes in the value they put on the magical moments in life. Everyone has their share of times when events match up with our life in perfect synergy. To the nonbeliever these are pleasant coincidences. The man of faith chooses to see the moments as a sign of God’s hand in action.
That there is nothing unmanly about crying. In fact, I’d be hesitant to trust any male who holds back his emotions.
That the toughest men I know are not the ones who get in fights. In fact those guys are use violence and intimidation as another layer of bricks in the wall they’ve constructed around themselves. The real tough guys are the ones with the courage to expose themselves and embrace their own vulnerability.
That I will never look good in a photograph, unless the picture was taken at last five years ago. There is something about time and distance that just makes me look so much better in my own; “Dam! I was really handsome back then.
That the best thing to do when you have a cold is drink a mug of hot tea. In fact, I like it so much that I always vow to drink it more often, and then I get better and I instantly return to coffee.
That Jesus died on the cross for my sins not because he thought I get it right, but because he knew I get it wrong.
Therefore, I have also learned that there is no way for me to every really earn God’s love. I’ve tried to be worthy by volunteering, by giving to the church, by being diligent in prayer or reading the Bible- but it will never be enough. All that’s on me is to decide to receive his love and pass it on to those in my life.
That if you take one miserable person and put them in a relationship with another miserable person all you will get in the end is a miserable relationship. I had to learn this one the hard way.
That life is good. Looking back it was in the past. I know too that it will be good in the future. But most importantly it is good right now and that’s all I need to get through the day.
And finally, that if it is the American dream to become the self made man that I have failed miserably in this pursuit. Instead I am the product of all you who love me, who support me, who believe in me, who nudged me in certain directions when I needed that nudging. Failure is never easy to accept, but in this regard I wouldn’t have it any other way
