Unanswered Phone Calls

It’s been a while since I talked to Sarah. A few months have gone by since she left Wilmington and moved to Albuquerque. As my fingers searched for her number, under the Contact section of my cell phone, I thought about all the catching up we’d have to do. Not only has a lot changed in her absences, but she was now living in my former hometown and working at my old station.

Waiting for the call to go through, I started to wonder if she liked her new job. Had she met Bill yet? What did she think of working with Mark on the morning show? Has Paul invited her to the Press Club and bought her a beer?

There was plenty to find out but suddenly there was another question on my mind; “What was that noise?”

It’s hard to explain but each ring on the other end was immediately followed by a long beep. “Ring-beeeeep! Ring-beeeeeep!” The sound totally threw me off. The first couple of times I actually checked the face of my phone to see if someone was waiting on the other line. No one was there.

You know what it was? That sound didn’t indicate that I had another call. Instead it was informing me that Sarah had another call. She was already chatting away with somebody else, probably one of her new friends. Frankly I didn’t need that information!

What happened next bothered me the most- really got under my skin. Sarah must have looked at my name on the caller i.d. and made a split second decision to send me to the wasteland that is voice mail.  Isn’t technology great! It’s now clear when people are screening their calls! We now know when we didn’t make the cut.

Now, as much as I’d like to spend the rest of this essay talking about the pain that accompianed the rejection and the humiliation that came along with the shaft…that’s really not today’s topic. Although, one day I will probably be discussing that with a therapist. Instead, for now, I want to talk about how electronics have more or less ruined our lives

Bringing people closer together probably was never the main goal of advancement but once upon a time technology had the side effect of making the world a smaller place to live. That was certainly the case with the airplane; suddenly the entire globe became accessible. The phone allowed you to stay connected with long distant relatives and friends, provided you were willing to reach out and touch someone. The television, yes even the television, allowed people to have one shared experience regardless of where they were; remember the days when two coworkers could meet at the water cooler and discuss last night’s episode of Seinfeld?

All that’s changed. Something went wrong. I think things just got carried away? Eventually technology advanced so much that it was no longer possible to get away and escape; the cell phone, the pager, the laptop kept us connected in even the most remote area- even when we didn’t necessarily want to be in touch.

And so we’ve rebelled.

If you think about it, all recent inventions have had nothing to do with brining people closer together- in fact they’ve almost been entirely about helping us avoid human interaction. It’s like the inventor’s goal is to make our lives simpler by just eliminating those intrusions and interruptions created by others. So much for love they neighbor.

Every Friday morning I have the same conversation with a woman who sits about 10 feet away. “Hey, did you see the Office last night?” I’ll ask hoping the two of us can share in some of the jokes and laughter. The problem is this season my plan has backfired.”

“No!No!No! No! Don’t tell me anything about it! “my coworker demands of me. “ I TiVoed it. I am not watching it until this weekend.”

 By the time she actually gets around to seeing the episode, I’ve long since forgotten all about it. Technology has taken away the water cooler.

Last night, after work, I was on an elliptical machine at the gym. Striding along side of me, just a few inches away, was a woman in her 50’s. We were both wearing headphones. She was plugged in to an IPod. I was listening to a small, personalized, television set hooked up to the machine. The two of us spent almost an hour looking straight ahead never once making eye contact. Occasionally our arms would brush up against each other in midstride. We were close to touch without ever reaching out to each other. Technology has taken away my ability to make polite small talk with strangers.

Oh, I know what some of you will say. You’ll defend the advancements and tell me that we are actually more connected than ever before. You may point to social websites like My Space or Facebook as examples of how old friends are staying in touch and continuing to share their lives.

Frankly I don’t buy it. We used to write long letters to old friends, and then that became a few paragraphs in an email. Which turned into a sentence or two in an instant message, finally it all to morphed into even smaller, totally made up language created  by the art of texting.    

Yeah, the social websites allow people to share, but I think they only give us the illusion that we’re still connected. Look at what people write on such pages; “Hey you’re looking good.” “Your kids are so cute.” “What’s up homey?” It’s like we’ve figured out how to talk without really communicating.

It’s time for me to unplug. I am going to make some changes. I’m going to stop using my cell phone at the check out counter. I am never going to wear headphones in public-maybe it’s possible that what the person next to me has to say is far more worthy of hearing. No longer will I send an email to someone who works only a few feet away- If the message is that important I can tell them in person.

I am going to be a new man. And I am starting with this incoming call.

 Hey, look: it’s Sarah. Sure a part of me wants to pay her back and let her go to voice mail…but then again we have a lot of catching up to do.   

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